Three months after giving birth I looked at my beautiful daughter and I was scared.  I was scared to hold her, I was scared to give her a bath and I was afraid to touch knives in fear of accidentally hurting her.  I tried to speak to the women in my family about what I was experiencing and that I was considering antidepressants to get through this very dark period,  but my cry for help was met with humor, “you’re so dramatic! You are acting White! Girl, that’s normal and you gotta do what you gotta do, ignore it.” All of these things were said to me and I started to fear that there was something wrong with me. I felt terrible and I had so much guilt.  I thought, “why can’t I just push through this?” I googled my symptoms constantly, I was a lurker and I read everything about Postpartum mental illness, but there was a problem, none of the women who told their stories looked like me. I searched desperately for other Black women to connect with, and I couldn’t find my community. What I did find was a BuzzFeed article that addressed the dark side of Postpartum depression and anxiety for Black women, and all 10 women who shared their stories experienced similar challenges during their postpartum mental wellness journeys. That article saved my life.  I saw me. I saw change. I saw the other side of what I was experiencing. I created She Matters to help other Black women navigate through their mental wellness journeys through community, resources and therapists that understand Black culture.  Throughout my wellness journey, I felt powerless and I realized the most important thing I did was take back my power, but first, I had to realize I had it.  I hope She Matters can help all of you Experience Your Power!

 

Jade Kearney She Matters Co-founder